Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Everyday Use of Emperor's New Groove

Time for a post I’ve been meaning to do for a while. I think it’s a pretty Mormon thing to be into Disney movies. And I’m a big enough of a Disney geek that at my last job (at the Mission Training Center Bookstore) that I’m fluent in Disney quotes. I’m especially good at Emperor’s New Groove quotes. Let’s face it; there’s a good Disney quote for nearly every situation. As a result, today I have some Emperor’s New Groove quotes for your everyday LDS life (not non-LDS life, they’re pretty versatile).

"You threw off my groove!"
            Useful for pretty much every day. Someone cuts you off in traffic, your roommate is in the shower when you need the bathroom, or that one guy in Elders Quorum brings up his mission leadership experience AGAIN.
"No touchy!"
            Pretty much whenever you need some personal space. Or when anyone of the opposite sex gets too close to a missionary.
"Take your pick; I've got more."
            A more enjoyable way to say “etcetera”. I’ll occasionally use this after running out of ideas in a list.
"It's my birthday gift to me! I'm so happy!"
            Pretty much whenever I buy something for myself. I got really happy when I was able to use this quote for my plans to go to Disneyland after graduating from BYU (that trip is finally happening in September). It’s my graduation gift to me! I’m so happy!
"Well, I suppose there's time for dessert."
            Pretty much any meal as a missionary. “We need to run to another appointment… but I suppose there’s time for dessert.” I don’t know if I ever had a meal as a missionary that didn’t include dessert.
"Arg! I gotta go wash something."
            Anything frustrating: work, relationships, lack of relationships, or the upcoming presidential election.
"I don't know about you, but I'm getting all funned out."
            When work is nearly over. Or when someone goes over during their talk in Sacrament Meeting. Or at the end of a long plane ride. Take your pick; I've got more.
"And that's... Bad?"
            How I feel at the Hill Cumorah Pageant when I see the protestors making claims about Mormons and Joseph Smith and anything else about the church. Some of them end up being true, but they try to spin them in a weird light, so I just brush it off.
"Look at me and my bad self. I snatched you right out of the air."
            Whenever I lose my grip on something and miraculously save it from landing on the floor. Especially food. Can’t let any food go to waste if
“Now I feel bad. Bad llama.”
            Whenever I sarcastically feel bad. Of course this one isn’t complete without the weak self-slap.

Alright. That’s all for now. Next week more Marvel. Unless I come up with something better.

Side note: Can we talk for a second about the apparent psychic
powers that Pacha's kids have? I mean they had visions of their
dad's journey with Kuzco! And they made it down the hill fast
enough to ambush Yzma along the way down. Just saying.

Monday, July 11, 2016

3 Reasons to Play Pokemon Go

Ah! There's a Golbat in my shower!
So I’m minding my own business, getting ready to perform in the Hill Cumorah Pageant. All of a sudden, I see on Facebook that the long awaited Pokemon Go had been released. Within 24 hours, I downloaded, already putting me way behind other players. Ever since, I’ve been playing it between rehearsals and devotionals and everything. Even though I haven’t become addicted to it yet, it looks like the rest of Facebook has. If you haven’t started playing Pokemon Go yet, here are three reasons you should download it now.

First off, you’ll make friends. I’ve been out here in Palmyra and there have been plenty of other people in the cast who have taken up playing Pokemon Go around the Hill, but even more than here, I’ve seen pictures on Facebook and community building just over this simple game. Even though I’m out here still, I’ve already joined at least three Facebook groups for players of Pokemon Go, including one for all of Utah, one for Southern Utah County, and one for Utah Team Valor. All over the place I’m seeing pictures about people getting together at PokeSpots and making friends by playing Pokemon Go. I even saw one article about a guy getting a date with a girl he met while searching for Pokemon. Imagine meeting your soulmate because of Pokemon!

Someone left the window open.
Second reason to play: Many people weren’t expecting Pokemon Go to be an exercise app. However, I’ve seen many posts already about how much people have been walking for Pokemon Go. Not only are people having to get outside and walk around to find Pokemon, but in order to hatch eggs found at the PokeStops, people have get up and walk up to 10 kilometers. And then there are the PokeStops themselves; sure you can drive to them, but lots of people are walking to PokeStops, so that they can catch all the Pokemon along the way. Next time I go for a run, I’m definitely taking Pokemon Go with me to hatch an egg or two.

Third and most important reason to play: To be the very best, like no one ever was. To catch them is your real test. To train them is your cause. (If you don’t understand all that, you’re probably too young to appreciate Pokemon as a whole) In all seriousness, isn’t the childhood nostalgia the reason this game exists? So many of us played Pokemon in the 90s and wished we could go on a Pokemon journey and collect all 150 (back when there were only 150). Now that is more or less a reality. Now we all have a new goal to catch these people, raise them, and stake our team’s claim at gyms around the country.

So give into your nostalgia and download Pokemon Go. After all, it’s free. What’s the worst that can happen? Happy hunting!

Lots of landmarks and churches and
stuff are PokeSpots and Gyms, like
the Hill Cumorah Visitor Center.

Wednesday, July 6, 2016

Top Ten Best Fantasy Worlds to Live In

10. Dinotopia
I've talked about this before, but the Dinotopia series features a fantastic world where sentient dinosaurs work side by side with humans in a utopian society (Dinosaur Utopia- get it?). Helping this fantasy is of course the beautiful scenes painted in the children's books of massive ancient cities and people just having fun side by side with dinosaurs.

9. Oz
Yes, they'res a Wicked Witch. And Yes, there's the Rollers, those scary things from Return to Oz, but if you ever read the books, Oz is less of a villain of the week place but is usually an incredibly peaceful place ruled by benevolent magic users with a great transportation system running through it.

8. Harry Potter Universe
Yes, again, there's evil here. But overall, it's kept in check by a massive community of witches and wizards. Reading the Harry Potter books made thousands of kids want to go to Hogwarts, even if they were far over the age of ten. Fun fact: The reason most of us didn't get our Hogwarts letters was because Voldemort wiped out all the Ministry's records of Muggle-Born wizards and witches born from 1985-1998.

7. Pokemon World
It doesn't really matter what age you are, who wouldn't want a team of cute animals as your friends and weapons of destruction? The Pokemon world, when not threatened by global disasters thanks to idiots in matching berets, is a place where you get to own and train Pokemon. I won't lie, if I had the chance I'd be a Pokemon trainer in a second.

6. Animal Crossing World
For those who haven't played the video game, pretend you run a small town in the world of Zootopia. Everyone gets along and as mayor you make most of the town income from fishing and picking apples. It's like being on a vacation all the time with your animal buddies, where the hardest decision you have to make is how to decorate your house.

5. Star Trek
Yes there's wars, but for the most part the United Federation of Planets is a Utopian society where anyone can literally be anything. Artistic and scientific pursuits are seen as equal, especially since money has become a thing of the past. Travel to the most distant stars or settle down at your personal vineyard, your future is yours.

4. Firefly Universe
Joss Whedon's Firefly universe is a lot like the Star Trek universe, but its a little more earthy and real feeling. Money is still around, but some argue that it's what makes the adventure even more sweet. Just grab a Firefly class ship and keep flyin'.

3. Avatar Universe
No, not the blue people. Avatar the Last Airbender universe. Imagine a world where half the population is born with the ability to manipulate the elements. Even if you're not a bender, you can still kick major butt. Plus if you start where Legend of Korra left off, there's a whole new world of spirits to meet and explore.

2. Every Studio Ghibli World (Except Mononoke)
Studio Ghibli worlds are full of whim and beauty that only the master Anime director can imagine. I clarify not the Princess Mononoke world because that world is just depressing, but could you imagine working at the bath house in Spirited Away? How about Totoro helping your garden? Or maybe traveling in a moving castle? Where could you go wrong?

1. Looney Tunes Universe
From its conception, the Looney Tunes world has been one I've always wanted to live in. Nobody dies, even from a direct gunshot to the face. You just turn your bill back to the front of your face and you're good to go. Play with the characters that brightened up your childhood? Yeah, I'm in.